It is difficult to see the relevance of culture and manners in today’s world where people can live their lives without relating physically with each other.
With skype meetings, sms media, the social networks and teleconferencing, the age old need for good manners and culture seems to be slowly dissipating. It is not unusual for people to date online and get married without spending some real physical quality time with each other.
Some online dating statistics reveal that:
- China has the largest number of online daters at 140 million. The US has 40 million users.
- One of the 10 users are scammers, and one out of 10 leave within 3 months.
- Men most lie about age.
- Women most lie about weight.
- One out of 3 women who meet men online have sex on the first encounter.
- Of these, 4 out 5 women did not use protection.
- Average length of courtship for marriage for those who met online: 18 months.
- One of out 10 sex offenders use online dating to meet people.
This all just goes to show that it does matter to speak and look at someone and relate with their body language.Many would argue that this is unnecessary seeing as you can use a smiley or an avatar but the statistics on the importance of body language in any form of communication belly that.So what can you do to keep in touch literally?Here are a few tip i am trying out which have greatly worked for me:
- Don’t sms…call: There is a false sense of intimacy in SMS media. When you make a phone call however, its shorter, you get an immediate response and you even get additional information from the mood and tone of voice of the person you are talking too. Plus the usual phone pleasantries would not hurt.
- Don’t just say “hi” ….shake hands : When I was first employed I hated shaking hands.I thought it was unnecessary body contact that left you at risk of catching some bug or something. I was used to the university habit of yelling a cursory “hi” at your colleague. However, shaking hands gets you in the face of the other person. It gets you noticed and makes you both in a way vulnerable to each other. Statesmen respect the art of shaking hands and communicate more with it than perhaps their speeches. Aaron Marino underlines the importance of the handshake in ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=372FN6ULSHc ) So shake that hand and get up close and personal….you can then pull out that hand sanitizer when they aren’t looking if you are worried about infections
- Don’t use the intercom if you can walk over: Employers who use the personal touch make a great impact on their employees and inspire more loyalty because employees feel they are cared for. On the other hand, employers will feel respected and honored if you go to their offices instead of sending an email or calling.
- Attend meetings, conferences, conventions etc and avail yourself for personal human encounters: this is priceless…..the effect of your personality is way greater than the language skills displayed in an email in creating an impression. Attend these meetings and spend yourself on people… you will be inspired, challenged, energized and even irritated all of which will get your blood flowing
- If you have to IM, make a video call: face to face interactions are way more compelling than audio ones and it is the best way to make an impression.If i do not like your voice at least i might find your facial expressions interesting. If i have to look at you i will more likely pay more attention to you as wel
- Write someone a letter in your own handwriting (when did you last do that?): It is as touching as it always was and much as I may shrug off the letter, I will always find it….rarely will I go through previous emails to remember someone fondly…
- Engage the people around you and listen to them: I am still trying to learn to listen. Someone said that it is the people you listen to that will find you most interesting.
- Choose the human not the machine….When faced with an automated mode of communication to use, first ensure that you have exhausted all the direct contact means and alternatives. Most times they are quicker and most effective than the auto bot forms…